Like it or not, as parents we are the most significant role model in our children’s lives. Your little boy or girl is watching your every move and listening to your every word twenty-four-seven from the time they are about 2 years old. They are simply seeking your love and approval even when they are disobeying you.
Our positive and negative behavior around our kids is under constant surveillance. Remember, children learn what they see and experience. I can vividly remember times when my temper got the best of me and I lashed out at my kids. In particular there was a time when the kids were 9, 7, & 5 and we were heading out the door to a restaurant for dinner. The oldest did something I considered foolish. I blew up screaming at the whole family…over nothing. Later that evening, my wife said;
“Is this how you want the kids to remember their father? They are actually afraid of you. Is that what you want?’”
Well of course not!!!!! And with some significant soul searching and prayer, I made a choice that night to love my children well going forward and not express my frustration or disappointment in a harmful manner. I haven’t been perfect, but I sincerely made it priority to address my anger issues around them.
Expressing ourselves in an abusive manner to our children, spouse, or anyone else, is simply not acceptable…no matter what! We must have self control and be overly concerned about our impact on others. There are just no excuses with this one. We can discipline our children firmly and express our frustration/disappointment in a non-abusive manner just like God disciplines us. The legacy we leave our children will be one that is, more often than not, marked by the things we never intended to leave behind. The choices we make today will have an impact in the future.
Take a minute to check out just a couple of references to discipline in the Bible:
Deut 8:5 “Know then in your heart that as a man disciplines his son, so the Lord your God disciplines you.”
Job 5:17 “Blessed is the one whom God corrects; so do not despise the discipline of the Almighty. “
Prov 3:12 “because the Lord disciplines those he loves, as a father the son he delights in”